No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
