one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize