Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
