Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
