whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Randomize
