is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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