Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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