i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
