My friends, they love my intelligence
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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