If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
