I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
