just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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