K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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