You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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