I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
he fucked my hip out of place.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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