Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
