i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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