Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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