I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm sobbing to NWA
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
