____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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