if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
