I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i don't like sucking hair
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
