Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Randomize