I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
