Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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