i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
