Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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