Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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