i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
