Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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