I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize