She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
