hotel room ftw
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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