So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
