carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
