This girl is more easily done than said...
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
