'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
