He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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