she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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