I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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