are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
