Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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