I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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