I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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