i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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