she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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