sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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