WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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