Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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