pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
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