At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize