YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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