i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
