On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
