Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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