youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i think i have herpe
just one?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
BRING THE BAGELS
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
