I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize