hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
My vagina is very pro this idea
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
